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Dimming of the Day
by Amanda Berendt
Copyright Sept 2003

    Janette sat alone at the bar sipping her drink. It would still be at least an hour before the first patrons began arriving at The Raven. In her solitude, her thoughts turned to Nicolas. When she first heard he had come to Toronto, she had had hope they would rekindle their relationship. But those thoughts crumbled when he came to see her at the club. It had been all business. Alas, when it came to Nicolas, she could never harden her heart completely. Every time he came in on some urgent police business, her heart would quicken ever so slightly.

This old house is falling down around my ears
I'm drowning in a river of my tears
When all my will is gone you hold me sway
I need you at the dimming of the day

    Nicolas was the light in her lifetime of darkness. It was the reason she had brought him to Lacroix so long ago. But it was also what so often caused the rift that divided them. During the years they were together, Nicolas was the one who would make her smile or laugh at the simplest things. He could so easily change her moods, knowing just the right words to say to cheer her in a moment of sadness or to calm her in a time of anger.

You pull me like the moon pulls on the tide
You know just where I keep my better side

    But those times they spent together had grown shorter and farther apart. The light she had loved so much about Nicolas was driving a wedge between them. She knew, to him, she represented a past he was trying so hard to escape. And yet he would return to her.
    Her thoughts moved past the years to the time they spent together in Venice. They had been together nearly ninety years - far longer than any mortal marriage would have lasted. Although, Nicolas was much more vocal regarding his feelings towards their separation, it had broken her heart as well. It often would end this way - with anger, resentment and distrust.

What days have come to keep us far apart
A broken promise or a broken heart
Now all the bonnie birds have wheeled away
I need you at the dimming of the day

    Through all these hundreds of years, one thing had remained constant - Nicolas was the one she always wanted. It pained her that she would always have to be the one to end their time together, for when they were apart she longed for him. Even when they were not on intimate terms, he would come to her and they would share their thoughts. She would let him speak his mind and not judge him as would Lacroix or others in the community. Although she did not share his feelings, she would patiently let him vent his frustrations and emotions he kept welled up inside. She would give him the comfort and sanctuary he always seemed to desire.

Come the night you're only what I want
Come the night you could be my confidant

    But here in Toronto, it had changed. In this new life he had made for himself as Detective Nick Knight, he had distanced himself even more from the community and even from her. She had seen him many times in the Raven with his partner, always regarding some case they were working on. She had also seen him with his new companion, Dr. Natalie Lambert. Janette knew she was helping Nicolas in his search for a cure to his condition. She also knew how much Nicolas cared for this woman. It was Natalie who he now confided in, laughed with and shared his feelings with. But Janette was not jealous of her.

I see you on the street in company
Why don't you come and ease your mind with me
I'm living for the night we steal away
I need you at the dimming of the day

    After almost one thousand years, she had learned the graceful art of patience. She would let Nicolas have his time with Natalie with no regrets. When the inevitable time came to move on from this life, or when Natalie grew old and died, it would be she that Nicolas would again return to. Janette sipped from the glass she held in her hand. The club was beginning to fill. She no longer wondered when Nicolas would come to see her. She knew he would someday return and she would wait.

I need you at the dimming of the day