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She Was There
By Amanda Berendt
Copyright March 2005

    Nick stood alone on the dark street. It wasn't a very desirable part of the city, but the club across the street seemed to be doing very well. He had stood for hours watching vampires and mortals come and go through the steel entry door. He had only been in Toronto for a few weeks, but he had almost immediately sensed her presence. It had taken a few days to trace her to this club... The Raven. Then it had taken him several more days to convince himself to come here.
    Almost thirty years had passed since he had last seen her. It had been Chicago. When he had left, he had been angry. He had wanted to get away from Lacroix, and had left without so much as a 'good-bye.' He had traveled, kept himself busy so he wouldn't think of her. But now... being in the same city with her after so many years, he couldn't ignore his feelings anymore.

So many nights I have stood in the moonlight
Watching it fade into dawn
Wanting her back with me, warm in the moonlight
Knowing that moment was gone
Out of mind, out of sight - 'Til the moon rose tonight

    Sensing the coming dawn, he started to turn to get into his car, when he saw the steel door open. A slim, dark haired woman stepped into the night air. Janette. He froze, watching her. She held a cigarette to her lips and lit it with a match. She slowly drew in a breath and paused, holding in the smoke. After a moment, she blew the smoke out into the night before turning to where he stood and meeting his eyes.
    Despite the distance between them, he heard as she whispered his name. It cut through the darkness like a knife. He so wanted to go to her just as he had eight centuries before, but he forced himself to stay put. He wasn't ready.

All at once I felt a chill
In a spill of moonlight she was there
Though we both held very still
There was something pulling in the air
When she whispered in the dark
I tried hard to hold my ground
I believed I had a choice
Till the music in her voice
Turned my whole world around

    It was as if the city around them vanished. He stood gazing across the street into her clear blue eyes. Although they stood yards apart, he could feel her touch upon his thoughts. The passion still flowed between them. The anger, resentment and sadness of their last parting fell away as if it had never stood between them. Had she sensed the guilt and sorrow he had for leaving her so many years ago?

I would like to understand
But the stars and I begin to blur
If she never touched my hand
Then what filled me with the feel of her
In between us stood a wall
In a flash it fell apart
Is is possible she heard
Every last unspoken word
Racing out of my heart

    Other than meeting his gaze, she made no outward acknowledgment that he was there. She did not cross the street to join him. They stood apart, just staring into each other's eyes and letting the feelings course over their link.

She never turned to me
But suddenly
We had so much to share
I never took her in my arms
But she was there
Oh, she was there

    He could feel the dawn drawing nearer. Janette had finished the cigarette. She held his gaze for a moment longer, then turned and passed through the steel door into the darkness of the club. He wanted to follow her, to renew their centuries old affair, but he couldn't bring himself to cross the street. He had finally managed to pull away from the community, but he could never fully let her go.

No I never pulled her in!
Still her tenderness was ev'rywhere
Oh, she slipped beneath my skin
Just as if she'd always been right there
Had she been there all along?
Was I too far gone to know
What a fool I must have been
For how could I pull her in
When I've never let her go?

    Sensing the imminent dawn, Nick got into his car and quickly pulled away. He knew he'd be back. No matter what happened, he knew he would always return to Janette.